Time For Change

Prior to being diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease I had my whole life figured out.

I was going to attend University of Nevada Reno, be heavily involved on campus, and graduate a year early with a degree in Marketing. I had my perfect life planned out.

But life doesn’t always go according to plan.

I knew as soon as I moved to Reno that it was not going to be easy. Within that first month I was dealing with a lot of flare ups, but since everything was so new and exciting I was able to push how sick my body was to the side. There were events almost every day, I was meeting a lot of new people, and my classes were still new and exciting. At that point I just attributed my flare ups to the stress of living in a new state, it didn’t seem abnormal to me.

As I got further into the first semester, I was already involved in two different organizations on campus and even held an officer position in one of them. That initial excitement I had was wearing off. I was having a lot of fun, but my flare ups were starting to become more noticeable. But you have to keep in mind that at this point I was at roughly a year of dealing with these kinds of problems, so it wasn’t impossible for me to live my life that way. I had my routine of lying to my friends saying I needed to make a phone call, giving me enough time to deal with my flare ups without anyone noticing.

Second semester things got worse. Fast.

Nothing was new and exciting anymore. I hated all but one of my classes. My flare ups were the worst they had ever been. For a while I blamed the dorm food. And while I’m sure that was a contributor, deep down I knew that wasn’t the main culprit considering my friends rarely, if ever, got sick from eating there.

I missed class a lot during my second semester because my flare ups were so bad. There would be times I would start to head to class but would then have to turn around because my stomach acted up. I got to the point that I just wouldn’t eat before class if I had a test or quiz because I knew I wouldn’t be able to sit and finish it.

During this time I cried more than I have in my entire life. I actually got pretty homesick. And not in the sense that I couldn’t handle living out of state, because in all honesty, that really wasn’t an issue. Obviously I missed my loved ones, but because I felt I was doing what was right for my future goals and aspirations I just never got that traditional homesick feeling. What made me homesick was that I felt so sick and I had no idea what was going on with my body. I was scared. The one thing that helped me survive the rest of second semester was the hope that once I got home my doctor would find out what was wrong with me and I would get fixed. I just assumed that I would need to make some dietary changes and then my flare ups would stop.

I thought this would be an easy fix.

Throughout my first year at UNR, I can truthfully say that I never considered transferring out. I had made an amazing friend group, I established myself on campus, and I was on track to graduate a year early.

I can also truthfully say that I had never considered the possibility of being diagnosed with an incurable disease.

When I first got the diagnosis, that’s when I started considering the possibility of transferring to a school in state. But in all honesty, I didn’t think I would actually do it. It wasn’t until I found out what my treatment towards remission would consist of that I was smacked in the face by reality.

At first I thought I would just take some pills and call it good. But not only do I have 5 pills a day to take (3 steroid capsules and 2 immunosuppressants) I then have to get an immunosuppressant in the form of an infusion every two months for the rest of my life (and that’s after getting 3 infusions within the first month). It’s a lot more intense than I ever imagined it to be. I’ve only been on the pills so far and I already feel the toll they have on my body.

It’s a difficult and stressful journey towards remission. And even when I get to remission I still have to continue the infusions. So with that, I finally made the difficult decision to not return to UNR.

Initially it was devastating for me to make that decision. I found clubs I was passionate about, had an internship lined up, and had made lifelong friends down there. But it just isn’t worth the stress of me having to be far away from my doctor and support system.

However, this diagnosis isn’t all bad. When I had started the initial thought process of leaving UNR, I was finally able to admit to myself that I hated my major. I hated the classes I had to take, and being a marketing major was not what I thought it was going to be. Had I not been diagnosed with Crohn’s, I probably wouldn’t have made this realization due to me being so obsessed with sticking to this life plan I made when I was a junior in high school.

Crohn’s sucks, there’s no doubt about that. However, it has taught me some valuable lessons.

Odds are, your life is not going to turn out the way you envisioned it, but that’s okay. In fact, it may be a good thing. I now get to pursue a major I’m actually excited and passionate about.

Don’t feel like you’re letting people down. I was extremely nervous to tell people that I decided to transfer. For the past couple years I made it such a big deal that I was going to go out of state for college and how I was going to work in Sports Marketing. Guess what, no one will actually care if you end up changing your mind. Obviously people will double check and make sure you are truly happy with your decision, but in the grand scheme of things everyone has their own life to stress about, they aren’t going to sit around and make a big deal of the fact that your life plans changed from when you were 17 years old. As long as you do what makes you happy, people are going to have your back.

Lastly, this is more specific to those are considering transferring to a different school. I can’t tell you what the right decision is, because that’s different for everyone. But here’s what I can tell you: in the end, location isn’t as big of a deal as it seems. My first year I made a lot of connections to a lot of people that were in the industry I aspired to work in, and I gave all that credit to the area I was living in and the school I was attending. However, I recently realized that I wasn’t giving myself enough credit. I’m not saying that UNR didn’t provide me any opportunities, because they definitely did and I am forever grateful for them. But I was the one that started emailing clubs before I even attended freshman orientation. I was the one who stayed behind and talked with guest speakers and scheduled times to meet with them individually. I was the one who would go on LinkedIn and reach out to those who were working in positions that I hoped to be in someday. I did all that, and I ended up with a lot more resources than the average freshman would have. So with that in mind, I’ll be okay transferring to a new school, because I have the skill set and ability to create opportunities for myself no matter where I end up.

So, with all that being said, I am SO excited to announce that I will be attending University of Washington Bothell and will be majoring in Media and Communications!

I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. I believe I had to transfer to a new school for a reason. I believe I had to switch majors for a reason. I believe I was diagnosed with Crohn’s for a reason.

And I can’t wait to find out what those reasons are.